Bullying and Mental Health
The
effects of bullying do not end when the school bell rings for the last time or
when a person leaves a difficult job. For many people, the harm created by
repeated mistreatment can persist for years, shaping how they see themselves,
how they trust others and how they manage the everyday pressures of life.
Consider
Sarah, who was bullied in secondary school for being quiet and awkward. Twenty
years later she still avoids social situations and feels a jolt of fear when
she is singled out in a group. Mark faces workplace bullying in the form of
undermining comments, deliberate exclusion from meetings and quiet sabotage of
his projects. He has struggled with anxiety and a low sense of his own worth.
Amara experienced cyberbullying after posting a photograph online. The shame
and public exposure left her depressed and withdrawn from friends.
These
stories are not unusual. Bullying is more than hurt feelings. It is a form of
relational trauma that can deeply affect mental health. At Chiromo Hospital
Group, we work with many people whose anxiety, depression, low self-esteem or
relationship difficulties trace back to experiences of bullying. The good news
is that with awareness and proper support, people can heal and rebuild their
sense of safety and worth.
What
Bullying Is
Bullying
is repeated, intentional harm carried out by someone who has some form of power
over the person being targeted. That power may come from social status, physical
strength, numbers, age, seniority or influence. It is different from an
occasional argument or a single rude remark. It is a pattern of behaviour that
is hard for the target to stop on their own.
Bullying
takes many forms. Physical bullying involves hitting, pushing or damaging
belongings. Verbal bullying includes name-calling, insults, threats and
humiliation. Social or relational bullying works through exclusion, spreading
rumours, public humiliation and the silent treatment. Cyberbullying happens through
text messages, social media, email or gaming platforms, and it can follow a
young person home and continue around the clock. Bullying can also occur in
workplaces and schools, where it may combine several of these forms over a long
period.
How
Bullying Affects Mental Health
In
the short term, bullying often triggers fear and anxiety, shame and
embarrassment, anger and defensiveness, difficulty concentrating and disrupted
sleep. Many people find it hard to face school or work, and their performance
may suffer as a result.
If
bullying continues or is not addressed, the longer-term effects can be serious.
Anxiety disorders, including generalised anxiety, social anxiety and panic, are
common. Depression can develop, bringing with it low mood, hopelessness and
withdrawal. Many people internalise the bully’s messages and come to believe
that they deserve the treatment they received. Some develop symptoms of
post-traumatic stress, including hypervigilance and avoidance of places or
situations that remind them of the abuse. Relationships may become difficult,
as trust is hard to rebuild. Some people turn to alcohol or drugs to numb their
pain, and in severe cases bullying can contribute to self-harm and suicidal
thoughts, particularly among young people.
Research
consistently shows that people who experienced bullying are at higher risk of
mental health difficulties across their lives. The damage is real, but it is
not fixed. With support and time to process what happened, many people go on to
experience genuine recovery.
How
Bullying Damages Self-Worth
When
someone repeatedly tells you that you are stupid, worthless or unwelcome, your
mind can begin to believe it. This process is known as internalisation. You
take the bully’s message and make it your own belief about yourself, and you
may begin to think that you deserve to be treated badly, that there is
something wrong with you, that you are not good enough or that you do not
belong anywhere.
These
beliefs often outlast the bullying itself. They shape how you see yourself, how
you approach new relationships and how you respond to criticism at work.
Understanding that these beliefs were learned, often through repeated pain
rather than through the truth, is an important part of healing.
Recognising
Bullying, Even When It Is Subtle
Sometimes
bullying is direct and obvious. At other times it is subtle and insidious.
Signs that you may be experiencing bullying include someone frequently
criticising or belittling you, being excluded from group activities or conversations,
and seeing your ideas dismissed or credited to someone else. Rumours spread
about you, unwanted messages or images arrive online, and you may feel
threatened, directly or indirectly. Your work or contributions may be
sabotaged. You might feel afraid around this person, dread interactions with
them, or notice that others seem to align against you based on rumours. If you
feel anxious whenever this person is present, that anxiety is worth taking
seriously.
Workplace
bullying is often organised and deliberate. A colleague who consistently
criticises your work in meetings, excludes you from important emails and
quietly turns others against you is engaging in a pattern of harm, even if each
individual incident seems small. Cyberbullying might look like insulting
comments after you post a photograph, direct messages telling you to disappear,
or your image being reposted with mocking captions across several platforms.
If You
Are Being Bullied
The
first and most important step is to talk to someone you trust. This might be a
friend, a family member, a counsellor or a mentor. Shame thrives in silence,
and speaking up is often the beginning of healing. Keeping a record can also
help. Save messages, take screenshots, and write down dates and what happened. This
documentation matters if you decide to report the behaviour.
Where
it is safe to do so, try not to engage with the person who is bullying you,
because responding to provocation can escalate the situation. Block, mute or
avoid contact where possible, and tell the person clearly that their behaviour
is not acceptable and must stop. You do not owe them further engagement.
Reporting the bullying is also an important step. In a school, speak to a
teacher or school counsellor. In a workplace, report the matter to human
resources or your manager. Online, use the reporting tools provided by the
platform.
Healing
from bullying takes time. It involves processing what happened and recognising
that it was not your fault. It means challenging the internalised beliefs that
the bully planted, and understanding that they are not the truth about who you
are. It also involves gradually rebuilding a sense of safety by reconnecting
with people and spaces you had avoided, developing the ability to recognise
toxic relationships, and finding community with people who genuinely value you.
A therapist or counsellor can support you through this process.
If
Someone You Know Is Being Bullied
Supporting
someone who is being bullied begins with believing them. Avoid minimising what
they are going through with comments such as “it is not that bad,”
and do not blame them by asking what they did to provoke it. Listen without
judgement and allow them to talk about their experience at their own pace.
Validate their feelings by acknowledging that what is happening is unfair, that
they did not deserve it and that it makes sense for them to feel hurt, angry or
afraid.
Encourage
them to speak to a counsellor or another trusted adult, and offer practical
help with reporting if they would like it. Stand with them. Include them in
plans, call them, and show them that they are not alone. If someone is being
threatened or harmed, involve the appropriate school or workplace leaders, and
seek professional help without delay.
Supporting
Young People Who Are Bullied
When
a young person is being bullied, it is essential to take the situation
seriously. Bullying is not a normal part of growing up, and it should never be
dismissed as something children simply have to endure. Help young people
develop coping skills, such as breathing exercises, self-talk and identifying
safe people they can turn to. Where cyberbullying is involved, it can help to
limit social media exposure and to talk through how to block and report harmful
accounts. Building their confidence through activities they enjoy and excel at
can also strengthen their sense of self. If a young person shows signs of
depression, anxiety or self-harm, seek professional help promptly.
When to
Seek Professional Help
Consider
reaching out to a mental health professional if bullying is ongoing or has
caused lasting emotional damage, if it has led to anxiety, depression or low
self-esteem, or if it is affecting your ability to function at work, school or
in your relationships. Seek help urgently if the bullying has involved threats
or physical harm, or if you are having thoughts of self-harm or suicide.
At
Chiromo Hospital Group, we specialise in helping people heal from trauma,
including the trauma that bullying can cause. Our team provides confidential
and compassionate support, helping people to process their experiences, rebuild
their self-worth and move forward with confidence.
You
Deserve to Be Treated With Respect
Bullying
is never your fault. Its effects are real, and they are treatable. With
support, whether from friends, family or professionals, you can process what
happened and rebuild your sense of safety, worth and belonging. You deserve to
be treated with respect, and you are not alone.
Where to
Find Help
If
you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call the Chiromo Hospital Group
Emergency Line at +254 203 971 000, or come to the nearest Chiromo Hospital
Group facility.
CHG Support
• Call Emergency Line +254 203 971 000
