How to build Assertiveness

Assertiveness is the sweet spot between being passive and aggressive. It’s a skill that enables the person to confidently stand up for his or her own rights while at the same time, respecting the rights of others.

There are lots of reasons why you may not be as assertive as you’d like. You may feel:

A mistaken sense of responsibility for other people’s feelings
Scared of expressing yourself
You lack skills and information on how to be assertive

Assertiveness

Being assertive is different from being passive or aggressive. Assertiveness is being direct and honest with people. You speak up when something is bothering you and you ask when you need something. Unlike aggression, assertiveness comes with a certain degree of calmness. People who are assertive know how to ask but also understand that some of their requests may not be granted.

Recommendations to help you build assertion in your day to day activities and statements

Instead of saying this> say this instead

Sorry but I might need to finish earlier today> I will need to switch off at 5pm
Sorry I’m just writing back to you right now> It would be easier to talk on the phone
Sorry I’m not sure I’m making sense here> Let me know if you have any questions
What works best for you> Could you do…?
No worries, it’s cool> Happy to help when I can
Sorry, I just wanted to check in> When can I expect an update?
So sorry I made a mistake> Thank you for pointing it out, I’ve updated it
Maybe we should...> It would be best if…
Sorry to make you wait> Thank you for your patience